ugh…

and today it was “you pushing me isn’t helping things. I told you I need some time and you just keep on rushing me. It isn’t going to make things go any faster, it just pisses me off.” If you don’t want to fucking be with me just say so and if you do, wouldn’t you want it to be as soon as possible?! I understand that he doesn’t want to look like an ass, but he’s acting like one by doing all of this; apparently being an ass in that sense is ok but being one in the “only hurting one girl instead of two” isn’t. I don’t understand it. I know he doesn’t love her and doesn’t want to be with her, she’s just filling the space until he can be with me but, why does he need a space filler?I asked him “don’t you feel worse when you are with her” his response? “HELL yeah!” So, if that’s the case, why make himself (AND ME) feel worse just because he feels bad for her? She’s a stupid home-wrecker and she doesn’t seem to have a problem with that; is she pathetic or am I?? I can’t figure it out.

I wish he could get it together and either follow through on what he says he wants, or if what he’s been saying isn’t it, figure it out and get past this crap…